"Keep your head held high gorgeous. These people would kill to see you fall."

Have you ever had those moments where you doubt yourself and what you're capable of? I have felt as though everything I try to create or manufacture in my mind or on a piece of paper, is being compared to everyone else’s.

How is it fair to judge one piece of artwork from another and call it better, when the skill and dedication is the same? It makes me not want to let my mind wander and my pencil create lines because, honestly, I feel like the works I want to make won’t be as good as those who are considered “more artistic” than me. It’s my passion to go to school for writing and English so someday I can make a living off something I love, but there is a consistency of people who feel like it is their own personal duty to crush my dreams . . .

To everyone who thinks their art or creation isn’t worth it, I’m here to tell you that it’s beautiful.
Don’t give up your dream.
 

that awkward moment when . . .

you over-hear a joke in somebody else's conversation and laugh out loud. Does this happen to most people or is it just me? I do this all the time, and actually try to cough so I don't seem so pathetic.

I suppose I deserve the awkward stares I get from the confused people afterwards for being nosey. *sigh*
This one time I went to the gym and I'm practicing for a yoga presentation the next day when this Mexican lady walks in with her snotty little monsters. She brought her whole freaking family! I tried not to show my growing frustration, I mean it wasn't MY gym so who was I to kick them out?
Anyway, so I'm doing yoga and this creepy little boy is staring at me from across the gym. Not looking, staring. I shrug it off and resume listening to my ipod. I look up from downward facing dog to the creepy kid 6 inches away from my face. I had never been so scared by a 5 year old and once he left it started to sink in-- what had just happened and I couldn't help but giggle.
Just then his psychotic little sister RUNS from wall to wall SCREAMING like she was possessed by someone or on crack or god knows what.

The point IS, this diabolical little troll was running for about 15 minutes from corner to corner. I, being the mature young adult I am, started to CRACK UP after she ran back and forth about 3 times. So I'm sitting on my yoga mat laughing so hard I'm crying throughout the whole episode. The mom looked pissed and everybody else in the gym thinks I was on something, this thought made me laugh even more. Needless to say, they thought I'M the one with problems.
And when I walk past their house on my way home from school they sorta give me a strange look but it's ok. Shit happens.
This story really had no pupose whatsoever but whatever, it's not like anyone reads the shizz I post, but it DID make me realize that I should stop laughing at people sometimes. This is probably going to be the cause of my death- if my indecisiveness doesn't kill me first.

GSA maybe?

For a while now I have been contemplating something. I've been going back and forth on whether I should start a GSA (gay-straight alliance) club at my high school. I've actually been thinking about this since October. I want to do it. But I'm terrified of what might happen if I did. I guess I'm just too paranoid. I'd finally decided I would do it yesterday after talking to this kid but after much more thinking, I've chickened out. I mean, I can't really do it. Passion and Desire will only get you so far.
I don't know if I could handle all that pressure. It's a scary thought when you think about it. I wish my school had one, I wish I could be the one to start it.  But I don't know. I want this soo badly and I know in my heart that I CAN do this, I know it's the right thing to do.

It had finally seemed like I was determined to take the first step yesterday but after I thought about it- I don't know if I can. I have Anime club and I've always wanted to be in Literary club. I wana try to participate more in French club and join Recycling club. On top of that I'll have IB work and volunteering to look forward to. Not to mention I want to run for junior vice president. I just don't know if I can create this mighty and successful GSA I can perfectly envision in my head. I don't know if I can make this dream into reality. And what if it isn't successful?

   I don't like losing. It'd be a lot to take in :\
I wish someone would just give me the answers I'm looking for. Or better yet, I wish someone would just TELL me what to do.